Helping your Teen with Eating Disorder

“It is of great importance to recognize that my family and friends comprehend the challenges I face. Receiving assistance at an early stage is essential. It was my mother and father, through their patience, acceptance, and unwavering support, who facilitated access to the necessary help for me early on, thereby saving my life.”

                                                  Paul, a 15-year-old. He is a teen battling an eating disorder

As per the World Health Organization (WHO), research data shows that eating disorders occur in an estimated 0.1% of 10–14-year-olds and 0.4% of 15–19-year-olds. Additionally, girls are more commonly affected than boys. Eating disorders mostly co-exist with depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. Eating disorders have a higher mortality than any other mental disorder. In Hong Kong, about 1 in 200 schoolgirls has anorexia nervosa. Bulimia nervosa is 5-10 times more common, affecting about 2-3% of young women.

Having a child in crisis with an eating disorder impacts the entire family. Comprehensive treatment involves nutrition counseling, medical care, and various forms of talk therapy, including individual, group, and family sessions. The doctor may also prescribe medication to address binge eating, anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

During this time, it is the time for parents to pause, reflect, and reorganize resources.

The family's emotional involvement is important.

Talk

Let your son or daughter know that you are worried, you are listening, and you are there to provide/find any help they need. They can talk to you when they are ready.

Keep trying.

“My daughter would scream at us, shut the door, and tell us to mind our own business. I could see she was scared and insecure. It was a very trying time for my family.”

                                                          Mother of a 13-year-old girl with an eating disorder

It is not easy to talk to teens. So, message them, write small notes to them. It is not odd to do so.

Find any opportunity to spend leisure time with them- sit at the dining table with them,  sit and watch their favorite TV with them, drive them in a car, listen to their music with them. They note and appreciate the silent connection.

Try a few mealtimes tips

Make meal plans with them and keep them flexible. Refrain from discussing meal portion sizes and caries.

Keep the conversations around the dining table relaxed. The discussions can be current news, relatives, upcoming travel, weekend activity, your job, and so on. Teens learn to “get out of their heads” and to know a bigger picture of life.

Let them stay engaged- wash, clean up, mop the table after the meal. This is a confusing and distressful time for the teen mind. There are conflicts, too much information, and too many dos and don’ts. At this time, a structured chore not only helps to distract but also provides a feeling of purpose and achievement, however small it may be.

A family activity after a meal- a quiz, cards, TV, games. These are great non-directive and non-intrusive ways to help your teens take a break from intrusive thoughts. Your modelling engagement with each other is helpful too.

Be a good role model at the table. You can present a healthy, proportionate diet to your teen, along with dos and don'ts, without sounding condescending or directive. Teens do not like to be told what to do and what not to do.

Discuss your feelings and life's ups and downs. The teen mind needs to name the feelings to be able to tame them. When they hear adults expressing their feelings, they learn to identify and express their own. IT is OKAY to have feelings, good as well as bad, happy as well as sad. Your sharing validates this and helps them to find words and confidence to do so.

Encourage them to seek professional help: This can be an antidote at times. A good, trusted therapist or counselor can be very helpful for your teen to recognize self-feelings of distress, learn new coping skills, and strengthen self-esteem.