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Good brain habits improve cognitive functions. Certain small habits can gradually enhance your organization and reduce chaos. On Monday, Paula wrote. “I believe it is my responsibility to assist others. I contribute to community initiatives. The small acts of kindness my father performed have fostered a similar enthusiasm within me. I am grateful to my father for demonstrating helpful behavior as a role model.” She folded the paper and put it in a jar, naming it a gratitude jar. On Tuesday, she wrote… “I appreciate my mother's sense of agency. She remains actively engaged in tasks and derives a strong sense of achievement from even the smallest goals. Since my earliest memories, I have observed my mother being busy, constantly moving, and doing things. I am thankful to her.” Paula folded this chit and placed it in the gratitude jar. She continued to do so for week 1 and week 2, and for a month, filling her gratitude jar and expressing gratitude to the shopkeeper, the hairdresser, the building guard, friends, and many more. What did Paula feel? Feeling Grateful She felt greater satisfaction with life, more smiles and laughter in her daily life, and a greater sense of self-esteem. She recognized improved sleep, mood, and immunity, and a decrease in anxiety and chronic pain. Definition Gratitude is appreciating what is valuable and meaningful to oneself; it's a feeling or expression of thankfulness for life's good things, big or small, recognizing value beyond money, and acknowledging sources outside ourselves. It fosters positivity and strengthens connections. Gratitude can be fleeting or a deeper trait, involving consciously noticing blessings, from kindness to being alive, leading to greater well-being.  Science of Gratitude Experiencing gratitude, thankfulness, and appreciation tends to foster positive feelings. A regular feeling of gratitude fosters long-term brain changes, boosting mental health and resilience. When we're grateful, our brains release  dopamine and serotonin , the feel-good chemicals that help rewire our brains to make us happier and calmer. Dopamine is a reward hormone that is a natural pain reliever, and Serotonin is a mood stabilizer that helps us to stress busters. These “happy hormones” also help our bodies by naturally lowering blood pressure, improving digestion, and promoting better sleep. The right level of these hormones helps us manage mood changes like depression and anxiety, sleep problems (insomnia), digestive issues (constipation, bloating), fatigue, increased carb cravings, and cognitive difficulties like poor focus or memory issues, impacting emotional stability, appetite, and rest.                                        "Gratitude is the memory of the heart."  Practicing gratitude   When you make gratitude a regular habit,  it can help you recognize the good in your life, even amid the bad . When you're under stress, you might not notice all the positive emotions you experience. A regular practice of gratitude helps you initially cultivate the habit of recognizing positive things.   Luckily, the techniques of practicing gratitude are simple.   Paula used a gratitude jar. A gratitude jar exercise is  a simple mindfulness practice in which you write down things you're thankful for on slips of paper and place them in a jar , creating a physical reminder of life's blessings.   How to Do the Gratitude Jar Exercise Gather Materials:  Find a jar or box and decorate it if you wish, along with slips of paper and a pen or markers. Write Gratitude Notes:  Each day (or a few times a week), write down one or more things you're grateful for on a slip of paper. Fold & Fill:  Fold the paper and place it in the jar. Notes can be for big things or small, like a good cup of coffee, a kind word, or a solved problem. Review for Boost:  When you're feeling down, pull out a few notes to read and remember the joyous moments in your life. Year-End Reflection (Optional):  Open the jar at the end of the year to see how much good you've experienced.

Definitions: Stress refers to any demand on your mind or body. Situations or events that cause frustration or nervousness can activate it. Anxiety is a sensation of fear, worry, or discomfort. It can arise in response to stress, but sometimes it occurs without any clear cause. Depression is a persistent low mood, impacting thoughts, feelings, and behavior, often arising from a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental influences. While stress is usually a short-term response to external demands, anxiety is a prolonged state of unease, and depression is a significant mood disorder that can be triggered by chronic stress but involves deeper feelings of hopelessness and sadness.   The suffering is global and increasing.   WHO data from late 2025  shows that over 1 billion people (1 in 8) live with mental health disorders, including anxiety and depression, highlighting a significant health crisis. Neuroscience research indicates that, in response to anxiety and stress, the adrenal glands release adrenaline and cortisol, preparing the body to respond. If stress and anxiety are prolonged, these hormones stay elevated, causing imbalances and disrupting the brain's mood-regulating systems, resulting in depression and anxiety disorders.   WE NEED TO COPE WITH STRESS AND ANXIETY BEFORE THEY TAKE THE FORM OF ANXIETY DISORDER OR DEPRESSION. Do you keep too many unfinished tasks on your To Do list? I find myself running from task to task throughout the day. I take a moment to feel good and a sense of accomplishment whenever I finish a task, whether it's completing a morning walk, making a few work calls, or ordering groceries for home. A task, big or small, when I feel accomplished, boosts my confidence and lowers my stress. A sense of accomplishment from small things during the day. It can be beneficial for managing anxiety as it helps build self-esteem, provides a sense of control, and shifts focus away from anxious thoughts. How do you interpret a situation? “I'm driving my car when I notice another driver trying to cut in, honking and pressuring me to go faster. I am not good with speed, so I stick to my slow pace. He then overtakes me, making facial expressions. I start feeling anger, distress, and anxiety. I talk to myself, wondering if he's in a rush as he needs to use the bathroom. Perhaps his urgency is due to a full bladder. I feel pity for him and hope he'll find a toilet soon. I do not feel anxious or stressed but feel empathetic.” An optimistic depiction of an event alleviates psychological distress. Through consistent practice, our mind acquires the ability to think positively effortlessly. What is your self-talk? “When  faced with a stressful situation, I consistently remind myself that others have faced similar challenges before me, and people after me will too. I'm not the first to experience this. It will pass, just as it has for others. I notice my gut relaxing, my shoulders softening, and my breathing becoming more even.” Positive self-talk is internal dialogue where you speak kindly to yourself, boosting mental health by increasing self-esteem, resilience, and motivation, while reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. It rewires your brain for optimism by re framing negative thoughts, managing emotions, and improving coping skills, also benefiting physical health and performance.  Have you tried mindful presence? “I struggled with sleep problems, frequently waking at 1am, 3am, and eventually not sleeping past 4 am. I began practicing mindfulness, starting with brief mindful eating sessions of 3 minutes and progressing to 30-minute body scans. After three weeks, I noticed an improvement in my sleep without altering my lifestyle, which amazes me.” Mindfulness improves sleep by calming the mind, reducing stress, and shifting focus to the present. Regular practice quiets mental chatter, making sleep easier, especially when combined with good sleep hygiene; it can effectively manage insomnia by training the brain to suppress intrusive thoughts.

“It is of great importance to recognize that my family and friends comprehend the challenges I face. Receiving assistance at an early stage is essential. It was my mother and father, through their patience, acceptance, and unwavering support, who facilitated access to the necessary help for me early on, thereby saving my life.”                                                   Paul, a 15-year-old. He is a teen battling an eating disorder As per the World Health Organization (WHO), research data shows that eating disorders occur in an estimated 0.1% of 10–14-year-olds and 0.4% of 15–19-year-olds. Additionally, girls are more commonly affected than boys. Eating disorders mostly co-exist with depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. Eating disorders have a higher mortality than any other mental disorder. In Hong Kong, about 1 in 200 schoolgirls has anorexia nervosa. Bulimia nervosa is 5-10 times more common, affecting about 2-3% of young women. Having a child in crisis with an eating disorder impacts the entire family. Comprehensive treatment involves nutrition counseling, medical care, and various forms of talk therapy, including individual, group, and family sessions. The doctor may also prescribe medication to address binge eating, anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. During this time, it is the time for parents to pause, reflect, and reorganize resources. The family's emotional involvement is important. Talk Let your son or daughter know that you are worried, you are listening, and you are there to provide/find any help they need. They can talk to you when they are ready. Keep trying. “My daughter would scream at us, shut the door, and tell us to mind our own business. I could see she was scared and insecure. It was a very trying time for my family.”                                                           Mother of a 13-year-old girl with an eating disorder It is not easy to talk to teens. So, message them, write small notes to them. It is not odd to do so. Find any opportunity to spend leisure time with them- sit at the dining table with them,  sit and watch their favorite TV with them, drive them in a car, listen to their music with them. They note and appreciate the silent connection. Try a few mealtimes tips Make meal plans with them and keep them flexible. Refrain from discussing meal portion sizes and caries. Keep the conversations around the dining table relaxed. The discussions can be current news, relatives, upcoming travel, weekend activity, your job, and so on. Teens learn to “get out of their heads” and to know a bigger picture of life. Let them stay engaged- wash, clean up, mop the table after the meal. This is a confusing and distressful time for the teen mind. There are conflicts, too much information, and too many dos and don’ts. At this time, a structured chore not only helps to distract but also provides a feeling of purpose and achievement, however small it may be.   A family activity after a meal- a quiz, cards, TV, games. These are great non-directive and non-intrusive ways to help your teens take a break from intrusive thoughts. Your modelling engagement with each other is helpful too. Be a good role model at the table. You can present a healthy, proportionate diet to your teen, along with dos and don'ts, without sounding condescending or directive. Teens do not like to be told what to do and what not to do. Discuss your feelings and life's ups and downs. The teen mind needs to name the feelings to be able to tame them. When they hear adults expressing their feelings, they learn to identify and express their own. IT is OKAY to have feelings, good as well as bad, happy as well as sad. Your sharing validates this and helps them to find words and confidence to do so. Encourage them to seek professional help: This can be an antidote at times. A good, trusted therapist or counselor can be very helpful for your teen to recognize self-feelings of distress, learn new coping skills, and strengthen self-esteem.

It is Friday evening, Saturday midday, or Sunday morning, and you started to feel: -       Sad, low mood -       Low self-esteem -       Emptiness -       Fatigue -       Changes in appetite or sleep -       Irritability, anger outbursts -       Difficulty making decisions, remembering things. You are not the only one to feel like this. These days, we hear more about people feeling sad and lonely on the weekends. Weekdays are spent in mode of doing, task to task, finishing chores, and achieving. For a few of us, this mode of doing distracts us from our troubles and sad and anxious thoughts.   Weekends mean fun, freedom from the daily grind, and relaxation. So, why few people have this feeling of sadness, listlessness, emptiness during weekends? Weekend depression is not a formal clinical diagnosis. It is a mood dip, a feeling of sadness, anxiety, or dread that arises on weekends. It can start on any day, Friday evening, or Sunday morning. It goes away at the start of the week and can come back again week after week if not recognized and learned to cope with. It can happen to a teenager, 25 a 25-year-old, or a 40-year-old. “I've consistently experienced a sense of listlessness and emptiness during weekends. Being in public places like the beach or market, where others are enjoying themselves, makes me feel sad and alone. However, as Monday begins, I start to feel alive once more. I dread the weekends because of this low, gloomy feeling.”                                                                                                   Rama, a 32-year-old female What is it? We live in a pleasure-seeking and hyperconnected time. Sometimes, a lack of pleasure or connection can induce a dip in mood. It is generally attributed to  psychological and social factors  rather than a distinct, specific neurobiological condition. The neurobiology involved is  likely the same as that of general depression or mood regulation, linked to disruptions in typical brain chemistry and function, particularly those related to stress, sleep, and social engagement . Why does it affect a few people? Some people find pleasure in their lives only through external structures. The weekend lacks this! Some people have unresolved stressors and past trauma that resurface during the weekend when there are no work distractions. Also, s ome individuals are naturally more resilient or have developed effective coping mechanisms for managing stress and transition periods.  The weekend feeling of sadness can stem from the stress of returning to work, a lack of structure on the weekend, or a sense of feeling unproductive. While it is different from major depression, you can manage it by: 1. Create structure:   Do meal prep, transportation plans, childcare arrangements, and check in with your significant other or spouse about their week , a hike, or calling family members. 2. E ngaging Weekends : Having fulfilling hobbies, social activities, and personal interests can help individuals fully disconnect and recharge, reducing the impact of the blues  2. Explore shared interest groups: Try to intentionally join interest groups like playing bridge, mahjong, hiking, movie viewing, etc. 3. Connect with family online: If family members are living away from you, look forward to connecting with them by calling them or sending messages. Share some news, an interesting article, or information with them. 4. Volunteer your time: Local organizations like pet care, elderly, SEN children, or the homeless need your help. Your engagement with these cases can increase a sense of purpose and meaning during weekends. 6. Maintaining a routine: a set time of waking up, sleeping, and eating is helpful in sustaining the order that the week gives. 7. Reduce s ocial comparison:  Comparing one's less active or social weekend to the seemingly exciting weekends portrayed on social media can amplify feelings of inadequacy and depression. 7. seeking professional help if feelings are severe or persistent .

“I grew up seeing my father engaging wholeheartedly in small acts of kindness every day. He will keep a pot of water and glasses outside his home for passersby, will donate something to a street beggar before entering the restaurant, buy food for a needy passerby looking at us eating food, give away a few coins to street beggars, give extra coins to a balloon seller, sponsor a child at school, and much more. These acts of small donations and helping others seemed to help him.”                                                                                                                                                                                 Dr Verma "During stressful times such as moving countries and caring for children, I noticed that donating improved my mood, possibly because of a ‘warm glow’ positive emotion effect. This continues to be one of my coping mechanisms during stress, which has a strong positive impact."                                                                                                                 Dr Verma further adds Understanding the Warm Glow Effect The warm glow effect delineates the positive emotional response elicited in individuals through acts of kindness. It is a sensation of satisfaction and fulfillment that is not merely anecdotal; it has been comprehensively examined and documented across disciplines such as psychology, neuroscience, and sociology. Researchers have found that giving behavior is associated with increased feelings of happiness and satisfaction, and overall well-being. Psychological research in this field has found that being generous might help people manage their emotional regulation and improve their depressive condition. In the experiment, people who donated small amounts of money online daily for 2 months improved their mood. The  findings are published in  Psychological Science .   Helping others triggers physiological changes, releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, known as 'happiness hormones.” These chemicals regulate mood, foster social bonds, and reduce stress. A pioneering study by researchers at the University of California, Berkeley, employed functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to monitor brain activity in people involved in charitable giving. The findings demonstrated that giving activates the brain’s reward centers, inducing feelings of pleasure similar to those from receiving monetary rewards. Another research article in the Journal of Social Science & Medicine investigated how volunteering relates to physical health. Results indicated that volunteers tend to have lower mortality rates, a decreased risk of chronic illnesses, and better cardiovascular health than non-volunteers. Further, the Shenzhen University research highlighted that incorporating small acts of kindness into daily life can have a profound impact on mental health,” said coauthor Jinting Liu of Shenzhen University. In their experiment the researchers found that people who donated daily, even as little as one cent a day, felt significantly more positive overall in comparison to people on the waitlist. This, in turn, seemed to explain why their symptoms of depression also decreased each week and over the whole length of the donation period. “The ripple effect of these minor benevolent actions can be immeasurably powerful.” This means that even people with low means can make use of this simple activity. “Just doing something nice for others is great,” says Liu. “The amount of money isn’t the key part; it’s really about the kindness behind it.” Liu states that helping others not only benefits the world but can also be good for you: "One Chinese cent is something almost everyone can afford, meaning everyone has the potential to help others and find personal fulfillment.” “An easy, effective, and powerful tool to have in one’s mental health tool box kit”, summarized by Dr Verma.

The above ran as a headline in BBC News recently. “Small habits and small goals help keep us mindful. These small goals, such as knitting for an hour a day to make a scarf, painting for 30 minutes a day to create a piece, stitching to make a table mat, and running for 30 minutes to train for a marathon, are all achievable. These goals are low planning, no competition, and have a sense of achievement. They relieve stress and anxiety.”                                                                                                                                                says Z’s Neuroscience research indicates that the repetitive nature of knitting has been shown to release serotonin, a natural antidepressant that helps lift one's mood. The satisfaction of finishing a project provides a boost of dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical. The sense of achievement from completing something tangible contributes to self-esteem, mood, and overall happiness – which we love ! “I was introduced to knitting when I suffered a mental health crisis. I was depressed, anxious, and suicidal. Knitting gave me much-needed mindful space and a sense of purpose which was in my control, on my terms.”                                                                                             Shared by a 17-year-old client Additionally, the therapeutic benefits of knitting, creating something tangible at the end, are great for boosting confidence and self-esteem. Research in psychology shares that knitting supports brain function and improves memory, attention, and problem-solving skills; a study in Frontiers in Psychology found that regular knitting enhances brain functions like task-switching and cognitive flexibility, while other research suggests it can help reduce the risk of cognitive decline, including Alzheimer’s; encouraging Mindfulness and a Meditative State. Knitting’s repetitive actions promote mindfulness. Studies show that this can help knitters reduce negative self-talk and enhance emotional regulation. Also, the added premise is that the repetitive hand movements involved in knitting may help maintain joint mobility and strength. Knitters often adjust patterns or fix mistakes, which strengthens problem-solving skills. This makes knitting an excellent mental exercise for individuals of all ages, nurturing patience and creativity. Knitting is not a solitary activity. Knitting groups and online communities offer valuable social interactions for knitters. The sense of community enables everyone to share ideas, seek advice, and celebrate one another's creations. “I started to knit when I was facing friendship issues. I was losing my personal value. I created items to gift to loved ones or donate to charities, which gave me a profound sense of purpose and the joy of helping others. This act of service reinforced my sense of value and utility.”                                                                                                     Shared by a 16-year-old client   Ultimately, knitting can significantly enhance mental well-being and foster a sense of purpose and satisfaction by engaging the brain, keeping hands busy, and producing meaningful outcomes.

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a neurodevelopmental condition marked by varying difficulties in social interaction, communication, and the presence of restricted interests or repetitive behaviors. It may also include impairments in areas such as intelligence, language, and sensory processing. Overall, ASD encompasses a broad spectrum of symptoms and challenges that children and adults face in their daily lives.  The syndrome can significantly affect parent-child relationships, peer interactions, and adaptation to educational and societal environments. The level of functioning among children with ASD varies considerably, influenced by factors such as age, language proficiency, intellectual development, treatment history, and the extent of ongoing support. The treatment for ASD focuses on improving the child's functioning via behavioral, educational, and social skills training, plus ongoing parental support. Medication doesn't cure core social and communication impairments in ASD but helps manage behaviors like aggression, anxiety, hyperactivity, and sleep problems, supporting children to benefit more from other therapies. To help a child with autism:  Create a structured routine “Ram is a 10-year-old diagnosed with L-2 ASD. He has a morning routine (using the bathroom, brushing his teeth, and getting dressed), an afternoon schedule (school, therapy, and playtime), and a consistent bedtime ritual (bath, pajamas, and a stor y) . Friday evening is pizza night, Sunday is a playdate, and Sunday is at the library. He has a chart in his room at a good visual height to keep the sequences.”   “Eva has high-functioning Level 1 ASD. She left my therapy room. She rushed towards her lunch box; the clock had struck 12.30. Keeping a schedule was very important for her. As she started to eat, her parents patiently sat across her, understanding her need to follow a structure.” These routines reduce anxiety by providing predictability and a sense of control.  Use clear and simple communication  Direct, simple, and literal language is helpful. For example, saying "Please put the toys in the box" instead of "Can you tidy up your room?"  Other strategies involve breaking down instructions into small steps, providing visual support like schedules or pictures, and avoiding sarcasm, idioms, and other forms of indirect communication that can be confusing.  Follow flow is a good example of being direct, using their name, and allowing processing time. Mother- Ronnie Ronnie- Yes Mother- Can you come and sit here? Ronnie takes a circle, goes up and down few steps, plays with his balls, comes around to sit Mother is patient, watching and waiting. She knows the routine. Mother- Ronnie Ronnie- yes Mother- I have something to ask Ronnie. Ronnie- What? Mother- We need to sleep early. It is good for health. Ronnie- No, I do not want to. Mother- Ronnie Ronnie- What? Mother- Sorry, we need to sleep early. Ronnie-Okay Clear communication helps by  reducing confusion, enhancing their ability to express themselves, and improving social interactions . It prevents misunderstandings, which decreases anxiety and frustration and fosters a stronger connection with others. Provide a supportive environment Stay positive:  Be patient and stay positive, showing your love and interest in your child. Reward good behavior:  Use positive reinforcement, like praise or a special activity, to encourage appropriate actions. Create a calm space:  Designate a "safety zone" where your child can relax and feel secure. Reduce sensory overload:  Minimize loud background noise and consider how lighting might affect your child.  A positive environment helps by  providing structure, reducing anxiety, and boosting development, social skills, and self-confidence . Seek professional help Consult therapists:  Work with specialists like speech and language therapists or occupational therapists for communication and sensory issues. Explore other therapies:  Art, music, or other creative therapies. Find local resources:  Look for local support groups.

Anthony has difficulty with eye contact, as he often repeats words or phrases and fixates on specific interests. He finds himself distressed by changes in routine and notices that he has sensory sensitivities to lights, sounds, or textures. Anthony is diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD).  According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision  (DSM-5-TR), published by the American Psychiatric Association, the features of 'autism spectrum disorder' include: Criterion A: persistent deficits in reciprocal social communication and social interaction. Criterion B: restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities. Criterion C: Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period. ASD is a neurodevelopmental condition and can be diagnosed by age 2, with symptoms appearing in the first few months after birth. What can Anthony’s family do? 1.     Contact your child’s doctor, a Healthcare professional, to discuss your concerns about their development. 2.     Seek a referral to a specialist:  C hild psychiatrist, psychologist, pediatric neurologist, or developmental pediatrician for an in-depth evaluation 3.     Access intervention services :  speech therapy  or  occupational therapy  and other support services. 4.     Be an advocate for your child: If you disagree with the diagnosis or the plan, you can ask for a second opinion from another specialist.  5.     Find support groups: Connect with other families and find local resources by searching for support groups and services in your area.

Regardless of age, youngsters can begin working on developmental levels they have been unable to master, but only within the context of a close, personal relationship with a devoted adult.                                                               -Stanley Greenspan, M.D., The growth of the mind   13-year-old Avi is in Grade 6. He has irregular moods. He is angry one moment and happy another. When his parents ask him to listen, he covers both his ears with both his hands. When angry, he throws things and says nasty things to his parents. His parents' efforts to encourage him to go to school on time, eat healthily, and limit screen time were met with resistance and unpleasantness. During the consultation, parents were advised to focus on enhancing their relationship with Avi and to return for a follow-up after three months. On their return visit, parents reported a changed atmosphere at home. Avi's outbursts had become less and milder. There was less resistance in doing day-to-day chores, going to school, screen time, etc. Children during adolescence are very prone to and susceptible to the negative aspects of their environment, and also very responsive to the positive changes. The vulnerability that accompanies neurophysiological changes during this time is also an asset, providing teens with a potential for development. Just as Avi was reactive to his parents' anxious behaviours, he was able to thrive as he felt security and understanding. Parents were surprised and delighted by how quickly, after only a few months of an attachment-driven approach, their son began to reach important milestones for emotional growth. Suggestion to change the atmosphere at home: 1.     Invite the child: This is achieved by showing daily that you enjoy spending time with your child. Engage in activities together or simply relax, giving each other positive attention. When with your child, be fully present. They reflect your active energy and feel assured that they have a place in your life. 2.     Avoid pointing out faults, mistakes, and blame: Criticism from parents is devastating. You do not hear the critical tone in your voice as the child perceives it. This is taken as rejection and invalidation. The child needs to know that your love for him is unconditional. 3.     Give praise in a measured tone, reflect feelings: you should put the value on what the child does and not who he is. “You worked hard for this,” “You tried your best” is more effective for the child's self-esteem than “You are pretty “ or “You do well in school.” Acknowledge warmly when the child does something well, but make a comment about the deed rather than about the child, about the effort rather than about the result. 4.     You cannot parent from anger: When you get angry with your child, you break the connection. The child feels shame and insecurity and blames himself for this. Also, doubts his inability to form a close relationship with anyone. The child can exhibit this by becoming angry and vengeful toward their parents. When angry, leave the room or call on another parent to take over. 5.     Accept your responsibility to restore the relationship: it is for the parent to try to reestablish contact. Discuss calmly with your child what happened, validate their emotions, and listen to their point of view. By prioritizing attachment relationships, parents help build the child’s sense of security and self-acceptance. They are also modelling for their children that relations can be mended by emphasizing development and healing.

From early infancy, it appears that our ability to regulate emotional states depends upon the experience of feeling that a significant person in our life is simultaneously experiencing a similar state of mind.   - Daniel J. Siegel, MD Attunement starts from infancy, such as when a parent smiles back at a baby's smile or says “whoops” when a toddler drops something. This shows the child that the parent recognizes and shares their feelings. In simple terms, attunement is the ability to recognize your own mental and physical state while also establishing a connection with another person. It is a crucial social skill and the foundation of human relationships; without it, we become isolated from others and disconnected from our inner experiences. Attunement is a fundamental part of the broader process known as attachment. The developmental science suggests that a six-day-old infant follows the caregiver/mother's movements. At 2-7 weeks, the infant orients towards the primary caregiver and prefers them over others. At 17 weeks, his gaze follows his mother's eyes more closely, attuning himself to his mother's emotions. Neuroscience explains that the right hemisphere of a mother's brain (or the primary caregiver's brain), which is associated with unconscious emotions, programs the infant's right hemisphere. In the early months of brain development, this moment-to-moment connection between the two is important for healthy neural attachment. It is also known to coordinate the complex network of genetic signals that control optimal brain development throughout childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. Attunement remains essential during teenage years, a period characterized by the development of brain pathways and neural connections, via pruning and myelination. This process helps establish the neurochemical systems involved in attention and emotional self-regulation. Teenage years are crucial because they represent a developmental tipping point, where biological sensitivities and cognitive-social changes make experiences particularly impactful. These experiences help shape habits, identity, economic trajectories and mental health that continue into adulthood. Tips to Enhance Your Attunement with Your Teens 1.     Active Listening: Instead of only thinking about your reply, focus on listening to what your teen is saying and feeling. 2.     Validate emotions with judgement: Acknowledge their feelings as valid, even if their behavior isn't agreeable. Use phrases like, "I see that's a big worry for you" or "That's tough, I would feel disappointed too." Avoid minimizing: Avoid dismissing their feelings with phrases such as, "It's not a big deal" or "You'll get over it."  4.     Create tech-free time: Have tech-free meals or activities that encourage everyone to participate in conversation. 5.     Have a check-in time: Teen brains flourish with structure and routine, whether in the morning or evening.   Be humble: Apologize when you make a mistake. Admitting you're wrong, strengthening the connection, and demonstrating to your teen that it's okay to be imperfect. Remember you don't have to be perfect: Even the most attentive parents are only in sync with their children about 30% of the time, so don't get discouraged if you miss some cues. Model emotional regulation: By staying calm in your responses, you demonstrate to your teens how to handle their own emotions effectively.   Respond with intention: Pause briefly before reacting to frustrating moments. Consider what your teen needs from you in that situation and respond with thoughtfulness rather than frustration.  10.  Share your difficulties with them, seeking their advice: This makes you look human and helps your teen relate more to you.

Ruptures in relationships are inevitable. They happen when communication and understanding break down between two people. “Rupture” between a parent and child or teenager occurs when the parent and child/teen experien ce a loss of connection, resulting in misattunement. Ruptures resulting in the child shutting the door or the parent walking away- Scene 1    Child: “I forgot to clean my room today.”                      Parent: “You can never do anything responsibly.” Scene 2    Child: “Can I go out with my friends for the third night in a row?”                     Parent: “You are hopeless. “ Scene 3    Child- Why do you have chicken for dinner every day?                    Parent: “You are so ungrateful.” Psychological research shows children's and teens' mental health depends on effective repair cycles in relationships, which strengthen bonds and attachment, not their absence. Cognitive neuroscience suggests that repair alters the rewiring in children's brains, making them more relaxed and positive. Children and teens cannot repair it because, developmentally, they lack the skills to understand , validate, and apologize. When parents do it, we help boost the trust and connection and gift valuable life skill into their toolbox, fostering confidence for their future relationships, recognizing that conflicts are inevitable and can be resolved in a healthy way. Is it ever too late to repair?  It is never too late, even if your child is 15 or even 36! Repair is intentionally gaining reconnection and can be done after 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, or 3 years. How can you “Repair”? 1.     Self-regulation: Find  internal space and self-awareness . Mindfulness is known to develop non-reactive self-awareness. 2.     Take responsibility: A cknowledge mistakes and the impact of your actions. S elf-talk, “I am the parent”. 3.     Validate feelings: Initiating a conversation, owning your part to restore connection. Start with your feelings, mistakes. 4.     Make amends: Offer a genuine apology for the specific action or behavior. Saying, Sorry, I apologize. 5.     Reassure and growth mindset: Show confidence in collaboratively finding solutions for future situations. Saying, “Let’s, together, will try my best”.

“I do not want to be late. However, it is only time that strikes, and I start to get ready to go. I am aware that I need to arrive at college for the 9:00 a.m. class. I started ordering my taxi 5 minutes before 9. When I could not find one, I began to curse. I run outside and struggle between hailing a taxi, cancelling the order, and sending an email to the professor explaining why I am late. I arrive 20 minutes late for class, hurriedly making apologies. My friends are smiling, a few are mocking. The professor is not pleased. Anxiety and stress have set in me.” A client ADHD mind is afflicted by a sort of time illiteracy, which is known as “time blindness”. Dr Russell Barkley ADHD often results in chronic lateness due to 'time blindness,' a neurological condition that impairs the ability to accurately judge how much time has passed or how long tasks will take. This is not due to laziness or disrespect but stems from how the brain processes time, leading to underestimating task durations, getting distracted during preparations, and forgetting appointments. There is an inability to anticipate future rewards and consequences, increased procrastination, and an inability to ignore the static around us — these traits all contribute to our trouble with deadlines, punctuality, and planning. “A client of mine had a coworker who performed tasks exceptionally well when asked to do them immediately. However, if given the option to do the task later, he often wouldn’t complete it. The task itself was simple, but managing time effectively was challenging for him. What is being time blind? People with ADHD tend to excel in hot cognition tasks, which involve emotional content. A study comparing time perception in neutral versus emotionally charged tasks revealed that individuals with ADHD performed worse than controls on neutral time perception tests, as expected. However, they outperformed controls on emotionally charged tasks. Research also links time blindness in ADHD to dopamine deficiencies, highlighting the importance of emotional stimulation for accurate time perception. Additionally, studies show that prescription stimulants and monetary rewards—which boost dopamine—can enhance time perception in people with ADHD. The important thing to understand is that it’s more like a sensory issue than an intentional disregard for time. How to manage it? 1. Timers and alarms: Choose timers that show time passing with a physical element, like a disappearing-colored disc, rather than just numbers. 2. Prepare for outings in advance: Complete preparatory tasks the night before, like choosing clothes or packing lunch, to reduce decision-making and potential delays in the morning. 3. Adding buffer time to their initial estimates to adjust the perception of time: Add extra padding to your schedule, like getting ready 30 minutes earlier than you think you need to, to avoid feeling rushed when things take longer than expected. 4. Color-coded calendar with visual schedules: Write down your day with visual calendars or apps. Use color-coding to make your schedule easy to view at a glance. 5. Place clocks everywhere- Put analog clocks in every room or on your desk to create a constant, visible reference for the passage of time. 6. Put a to do list: By planning to take action at an actual time, you are more likely to get a task done, and less likely to merely react to whatever comes at you during the day. 7. Feel future consequences: we need to remember past experiences and bring that feeling to the present. 8. Take a couple of minutes at the start of your day to plan your priorities — and when you will work on them. 9. Turn off auto-play on your various streaming services, so you see the current time between videos. 10.  Create rewards for completing tasks